I know the nhl season is still going on, and I know we’ll have the entire summer to think about what the habs will look like in october. But I just watched a series of amazing videos on the RDS website, that prompted me to immediately write the first item of a series of posts devoted to the rebuilding of the Habs. This series will try to gather random points of view expressed in the media and on the Internet about what should Bob Gainey do with the habs. Of course, the more ill-advised and whacky the rebuilding proposals are, the better. So listen to what the pundits say, Bob, because that’s the way to go!
Bob the Rebuilder
Today, we’ll begin with a series of videos from RDS. In those videos, two nhl pundits, Jacques Demers and Dave Morissette, were given carte blanche to play the role of Bob Gainey and rebuilt the Habs for the next season. To be fair, it’s kind of easy for me to watch this and make fun of them from the comfort of my couch. I could especially make jokes about Morissette, because he was only a very marginal NHLer, as he played a grand total of 11 nhl games, collecting 0 goals and 0 assists in the process. But hey, that’s still 11 more games than I’ll ever play in the NHL, and he’s way closer to the habs than I’ll ever be, so yeah, I’m pretty hypocritical. But whatever.
Anyway, if you want to watch the videos, head to the RDS website. The videos are under the “Canadien” section of the video player, and they’re entitled “Jouons au directeur général” (parties 1, 2, and 3), and “Reconstruisons le Canadien” (“la suite”, and “conclusion”). It’s all in French, of course.
In the 3 first videos, they focus on the habs free agents, and who should they resign or let go. The 2 last videos are way funnier, because the two experts talk about transactions and free agents signings.
I’m going to summarize the moves made by our two friends, and detail their 2009-10 rosters.
To begin with, the habs can’t resign all of their free agents, so they’ll have to make tough choices. And Demers made those choices. Gone are Koivu, Lang, Kostopoulos, Schneider, Brisebois, Schneider and Dandenault. Now, let’s replace those players!
- To begin with, and I really did not see that one coming, Demers trades for Lecavalier! But Vinny is not enough, Demers also wants St Louis. So he sends Plekanec (that he resigned, just so he could trade him), the 2 Kostitsyn brothers, Gorges and Halak to Tampa. I’m not sure Tampa would jump on this, but why not?
- Then, you need another center to replace Lang. Demers gets Antropov.
- To complete his offensive lines, Demers goes after Laperrière and Chris Neil. Sigh.
- On defense, Komisarek gets a new contract. To replace Schneider, Gorges, Brisebois and Dandenault, Demers picks François Beauchemin (wait, another francophone? wow this is really unexpected), Jordan Leopold and Niclas Havelid.
- And finally, in front of the nets, the duo of Price and Marc Denis will do the trick.
So that’s 5 players traded from Montreal for 2 French superstars and 6 UFAs signings. That’s really Bob Gainey’s style! Of course, signing all those UFA’s after such a successful and controversy-free season should be a piece of cake.
Your 2009-10 Habs:
Coach: Bob Hartley or Marc Crawford (he’s not francophone, but his wife speaks French. Yep, Demers actually said that…)
Et voilà! (Um, sorry what? a salary cap?? What’s that?)
Dave tried to resign Koivu, but he couldn’t. So, gone are Koivu, Kovalev, Lang, Kostopoulos, Dandenault, Brisedois, Schneider and Bouillon. The Habs also buy Metropolit’s contract out. And now, the shrewd transactions!
- Morissette also wants Lecavalier. So he sends a few guys to Tampa: The 2 Kostitsyns, Gorges, and O’Byrne. (Ahahahahahaha!)
- For his second line, Morissette goes after Erik Cole, who just came back to Carolina after he completely failed in Edmonton.
- He then gets RFA Jiri Hudler from Detroit for Halak. Yeah right.
- To add a Frenchaccent to the team, Kostopoulos gets replaced by Laperièrre, as in Demers’ team.
- On defense, Morissette signs UFA Marc André Bergeron, and steals RFA Shane O’Brien from Vancouver.
- In front of he net, he goes with Price, and an unnamed veteran (because the Habs supposedly still have enough cap room)
So, here are your 2009-10 Habs:
Coach: Bob Hartley ou Patrick Roy
(Note that Pleks mysteriously disappeared during the summer)
So, let’s thank Morissette and Demers for a very solid contribution to launch our summer series. And Bob, I hope you took some notes on what to do!