Yesterday, America successfully claimed Canada’s national sport.
First, to send the message that the United States considered hockey theirs, the Washington Capitals defeated the Canadiens. Then, later in the night, a group of young imperialists sneakily won the World Junior Hockey Championship right in the heart of Saskatchewan, in front of thousands of stunned Canadians, thus bringing the entire country to its knees.
Resistance is futile, Canada.
But you still have curling, I guess.