Imperialist Americans take over hockey   18 comments

Yesterday, America successfully claimed Canada’s national sport.

First, to send the message that the United States considered hockey theirs, the Washington Capitals defeated the Canadiens. Then, later in the night, a group of young imperialists sneakily won the World Junior Hockey Championship right in the heart of Saskatchewan, in front of thousands of stunned Canadians, thus bringing the entire country to its knees.

Resistance is futile, Canada.

But you still have curling, I guess.

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18 responses to “Imperialist Americans take over hockey

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  1. Screw curling. Canada is going to come back next year and decimate everyone in Buffalo :D

  2. It’s the lack of baby Habs that killed Team Canada this year. How can you win without a single Hab? Hopefully they’ll learn the lesson and pick some next year!

    And you already have a chance to redeem yourselves at the Olympics! (Ahem, let’s just hope my theory about needing a few Habs in the team to win doesn’t apply to them… Because you know, the Russians do have a Hab…)

  3. *grumbles something about the Tanguay trade and draft picks and Eberle*

    Draft some Canadians, already, Habs! =/

    And yes, your theory about needing Habs better not hold true for the Olympics :D

  4. I didn’t mean Habs should draft more Canadians, I meant Team Canada should pick more baby Habs! :P

  5. But the Habs don’t have a lot of Canadian prospects who could’ve played for their country this year… They had Missiaen, Leblanc, Dumont, Lefebvre and Walsh. Leblanc – the only pick taken in the top three rounds – was invited this year, but he got outplayed by everyone else at the camp.

    *gets off soap box*

  6. Yeah, hopefully Leblanc will be there next year!

  7. Hopefully!

  8. Danny Kristo looked good for Team USA.

    And curling is pretty low on Canada’s list of popular sports and we’re actually not that good at it, in my opinion.

    The US only gets 5 weeks to enjoy hockey supremacy.

  9. Curling is like the antithesis of hockey. It’s slow, the “crowd” (of three people) is quiet and they probably dont’ drink either, it’s not particularly exciting and there’s no fighting. LAME…!

  10. They don’t drink? I thought being drunk was the only way to follow this sport! ;)
    It’s true that curling would be much more exciting if you could bodycheck or broom-check your opponents! I know I would consider watching!

  11. Broom-checking!!!!!! YES! If you could whack your opponent upside the head with one of those brooms it would make the sport MUCH more interesting. YES. We need to lobby the curling association (does that exist?) to allow broom-checking. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha!!!!!!!

    And yeah, being drunk is the only way to follow the sport, but it just strikes me as the type of sport that doesn’t encourage drinking. Drunken riots might ruin the players concentration, you know?

  12. Canada is going to come back next year and decimate everyone in Buffalo :D

    The first time I read this, I read it as in decimating everyone who lives in Buffalo and I was all, “Heyyyy!!!” but then I turned my brain on and realized what you meant. :D (unless you really do want to kill everyone in Buffalo, to which I say “Heyyyy!!!”)

    I’ll behave myself, Shan… no guff from me :) Because I’m quite outnumbered here, and because somehow the Bulldogs have overtaken the Amerks. :\

  13. Hahahah! No,no,no not the general population in Buffalo. Just the opposing hockey teams :D

    (notice how I didn’t say anything about the Hammies and how the Amerks are losing).

  14. notice how I didn’t say anything about the Hammies and how the Amerks are losing

    Much appreciated. At least the Crunch still suck.

  15. And the Marlies suck too!!! I very much appreciate Leafsfail =)

  16. It’s nice to see we can still all agree on basic stuff, like hating the Leafs. :D

  17. And the Bruins and Rangers, right?

  18. Of course!

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